Gaeilge

Offends you Sir – Unionist TD’s could make a killing in a united Ireland

UNIONIST representatives elected to Dail Eireann in a future united Ireland stand to make a killing according to one international human rights and equality lawyer.

Dr Sergei Slapovitch, was speaking in the wake of the Stormont royal portrait debacle when it was revealed that one a top Northern Ireland civil servant received £10,000 compensation for having to walk by a picture of HM Queen Elizabeth, as it offended him.

Dr Slapovitch, who sits regularly near the International Court of Justice, at the Hague, said; “Now that the precedent has been established legally, jurisdictions in Ireland north and south are open to claims and counter claims of every sort.

“In the aftermath of a border poll supporting a united Ireland, walking down a corridor in the Irish parliament hung with portraits of the executed rebels of 1916 could quickly net an offended unionist 50 or 60 grand easy,” Sergei claimed, “as for portraits of Taoiseachs like Eamonn DeValera and Michael Collins, even though they were internationally recognised statesmen, a moderately indignant unionist might consider filing a claim for five grand, with a proper stiff necked Carsonist having a punt for seven or eight!”

Dr Slapovitch conceded that Irish patriots of older vintage might not prove as lucrative, but suggested the real money was to be made in repeated journeys up and down the same corridors of power.

He anticipated that, unless the law was changed, a good fit unionist TD, at jogging pace could rack up a couple of hundred grand in a matter of minutes.

“This could create real momentum for the reunification of the island, even before a border poll,” he concluded.

We put these points to Dail Eireann press officer, with a spokesperson for the Irish Parliament admitting that they were taking legal advice on the matter.

The spokesperson insisted that there were no plans afoot to remove portraits or works of art from any room, office or corridor at the present time.

A source close to the Taoiseach confirmed that nothing would be shifted, adding that “if it helps get the feckers down here shur wouldn’t it be worth it! Jaysus, its less than nothing compared to what we’re paying to them international banks.”

Back up North Unionist MPs and MLA’s were reluctant to comment on this subject, though off the record one DUP MLA conceded that the Dail might be the place for their North Antrim MP Ian Paisley, allowing him to keep his Indian Ocean luxury holiday piggy bank filled without all the red tape and aggravation to be found at Westminster, to say nothing of embarrassment to the party.

©Ten Grand Leo

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