Smelly Brexit

DUP MP’s look forward to ‘not sitting’ in wake of Boris Westminster suspension decision

THE DUP’s team of 10 Westminster MP’s are said to be looking forward to ‘not sitting’ in the House of Commons, thus bringing themselves into line with the party’s team of MLA’s in Northern Ireland.

This latest comes after PM Boris ‘Adolf’ Johnston’s decision to ask HM the Queen to suspended Parliament for five weeks during the crucial run up to the Brexit departure date on October 31.

Described as ‘unconstitutional’ and ‘tyrannical’ this latest stage of his “shite or bust” Brexit strategy, suppressing the democratic process on the most crucial decision Parliament has had to take in a generation, has the full support of the DUP.

Speaking to reporters a DUP party spokesperson dismissed these concerns as “false outrage”.

“In fact MP’s are actively looking forward to not sitting,” she said: “given the situation where Stormont hasn’t sat for two and a half years, our Right Honorable Members have been feeling rightly aggrieved for some time at the unfair distribution of the work load.”

The spokesperson continued: “One should look at this as the standardization of practice across the UK.

“With the new order of freedom that will pertain after October 31, we are hopeful that local councilors will come into line and become bone idle in the coming months as well!”

No DUP MP wanted to go on record in respect of the issue. Even North Antrim MP Ian Paisley who had plenty of practice at being suspended a year previously after his infamous Indian Ocean holiday debacle.

“Fairs fair,” one Right Honorable member from somewhere in Ulster admitted.

“Why should we all the work and them do eff all,” another DUP MP bluntly observed, “it has been a rather unsatisfactory situation for a number of years.”

“Ach shur democracies work better like this,” another MP philosophically suggested, “but its them wee councilors I take pity on, doing the lift all by themselves, its time they got a break!”

TGL approached a number of DUP councilors in the Causeway Coast and Glens area, with one saying they had heard nothing of this and it would be business as usual working hard in the Chamber and out across the Borough on a daily basis for constituents and ratepayers until they heard otherwise. The councilor continued that even in that eventuality the Lord had certain views on bone idleness and looking forward to it was not among them.

©Ten Grand Leo

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