A CLIMATE change denier has become an Extinction Rebellion activist, after realising that rising sea levels could see Irish hill farmers inherit the earth.
Mr Francis Boyle claims that future lowland refugees forced into the uplands could find themselves enslaved in new hilltop republics run by an oligarchical sheep farmer elite.
“I was for fracking, promiscuous use of plastic, coal and oil powered power stations, Co2 emissions and the continued extermination of endangered wildlife,” Francis confessed to TGL, “I would have seen the earth bled dry and told myself nothing was happening.”
Francis got a wake up call watching a TV programme on rising sea levels in the Pacific Ocean, causing lower lying areas of many islands to be lost.
“One particular bastard owned the top hill on the wee island, and when the water rose everyone was forced onto his land and became his tenants.
“He was a terrible landlord, a right hoore all together if you’ll pardon my French, but there was nothing to be done about him – he owned it all”
Francis couldn’t get the programme out of his head.
“Sheepmen own most of the higher ground in Ireland,” he said, “if we were all forced up into their land, we’d be fecked well and truly.
“The thought of carrying all our heritage, our art, sculpture literature and architecture up the hill for some sheepman to look after doesn’t bear thinking about.
“I mean seriously would you want to be governed by a sheep man? He doesn’t rise of his arse without a subsidy.”
“I just couldn’t stand by and let that happen,” he concluded, “wellies, quads and ingrained sheep shite is not what I want for my kids.”
“Heckling politicians, lying down on the road and getting pulled off trains and buses is my future now.”
©Ten Grand Leo