Beastly Con Con Smelly Brexit Uncategorized

GE19 Stalingrad Struggles – the Battle for Belfast revealed

FOR STARTERS: The 'Claire Pair' versus true blue Emma and Kung Fu Naomi versus Gavin ‘Sabbath’ Robinson

ONCE more the green wannabe overlords and the orange tight to the last brigade have hit the streets competing for Ulster’s votes, with the nothings (so called) trying to rise phoenix like through the cracks in the whole shebang. 

Belfast residents of every shade generally feel  superior to the rest of Northern Ireland so TGL felt it was only fitting to uplift them onto the stage of scrutiny and dissection first.   

In North Belfast unsavoury lamp-post engagements are already reported between the DUP foot-soldiers of Nigel ‘Brexit’ Dodds and tribal John Finucane’s  Sinn Fein volunteers.

Bitter rivalry doesn’t describe this contest.

Scratch the surface of the great Brexit/Remain issue of the age and its pure sectarian head counting.

December 12 will reveal if Catholics have raised enough babies to voting age this time, or will they have to wait till the next.

Meanwhile ‘proper’ Green Claire Bailey is scampering around South Belfast with the SDLP’s tribal green Claire Hanna hoping to unseat DUP true blue, Emma ‘Dressed for Church’ Little Pengelly.

The ‘Claire Pair’ might be purposefully confusing their ‘greens’ but will the electorate be equally confused? 

Candidates are expected to get down and get dirty and Emma ‘Dressed for Church’ could need a dry cleaner soon enough for other reasons too, with challenges from the UUP’s Michael Henderson and Alliance’s Paula Bradshaw fully expected during the campaign. 

Meanwhile out east, Gavin ‘Sabbath’ Robinson is said to pray every night asking God to make the beautiful game of democracy easier for him. 

Unfortunately for him the Queen of Remain, Kung Fu Naomi Long goes to church too and will be gunning for him.  

Here, as across the city, the merits and pitfalls of both UK unionism and EU unionism are being put to the electorate.

But which will capture the hearts of the majority – December 12 will reveal all. 

Finally with West Belfast all to himself is Sinn Fein’s tribal Paul Maskey.

Never wanting to be seen taking the electorate for granted, tribal Paul is busy grooming and feeding up,  the not one,  but 20 donkeys he is planning to send up the Falls Road with tricolours on, to get his vote out on Election Day.  

The man has it truly sussed, guaranteed as he is, to steer the Brexit debate his way post election, without ever going near a parliament or casting a vote – a fully formed Irish democrat. 

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