Smelly Brexit Uncategorized

United Ireland by Christmas – PM Boris Johnston plans ‘absolute super mega betrayal’ of the DUP

Ireland to get very special seasonal gift after ‘teensy weensy’ bit of gerrymandering

PM BORIS Johnston is planning an absolute mega super betrayal of the DUP that will see a united Ireland before Christmas.

So says Irish Times columnist Dinton O’ Fool, who claims he has an inside track at Number 10. 

“Sources suggest that British PM Boris Johnston is planning a referendum for next Thursday, which he will gerrymander in favour of a nationalist outcome,” O’Fool claims,

“This will be followed by weekend negotiations with the Irish Government, completed by Monday; then a withdrawal and handing over of sovereignty on Christmas Eve, with every non Irish Brit about the  place away home in time for Christmas dinner the next day.”

TGL contacted Boris about the claims, which he totally denied then went on to say, 

“I was just sitting in Number 10 thinking about the Irish (the way you do) and I thought of those bloody southern Irish always accusing me of being about to betray the poor old DUP. 

“Silly cartoons with people looking for the DUP MP’s under a Boris bus I have thrown them under and all that rot.

“I thought bollocks, that’s so small potatoes, I’m thinking way bigger than that – why not just organise a nice Christmas gift for the Irish so they won’t be thinking so badly of me.”

Asked about the gerrymander claim, Boris said: “It’s not much of a gerrymander just a teensy weensy couple of thousand votes should do it.

“I’m doing them a favour, as everyone will see when I take England down the plug hole after me over the next five years.” 

©Ten Grand Leo

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