REPORTS are emerging that DUP went into cataclysmic moral meltdown in the days leading up to agreeing the ‘New Decade, New Approach’ deal on January 10 that restored the Stormont Assembly.
Speculation that it was fear of an election; badgering by the Secretary of State; or caving into Sinn Fein and the desire to betray their own cause, have been soundly rejected by the party.
However TGL is now in a position to reveal the real reason for the sudden and unexpected acquiescence after three years of stout refusal – none other than nationalist journalist and commentator Eamonn Mallie.
“The Great Eamonn Mallie, peace be upon him, pronounced upon the subject of parity of esteem some some days before agreement was reached,” our source within the DUP has said.
“His piece published on January 5 ‘End to Cultural Conflict means Irish Language and Parity of Esteem for All – By Eamonn Mallie’ moved us beyond measure.
“What a wonderful headline steeped in universal goodness and simplicity utterly devoid of the usual white fart of nationalist sectarianism playing wannabe overlord games while posturing as the middle ground.
“When he told us and other unionists to rid ourselves of ‘any notions of superiority or sense of divine right to legally thwart the aspirations of those constitutionally seeking an alternative, new Ireland and parity of esteem’ grown lay preachers were crying for their mammies as their little Biblical universes collapsed!”
“His language had such a wonderful ‘kettle calling the pot black’ aspect, showing complete insight into the morally superior entitled tone of many nationalists as he wagged a reprimanding finger at unionists.
“But it was when Mr Mallie said, ‘The Irish language is emblematic of one aspect of parity of esteem and one’s cultural sense of Irishness in Northern Ireland,’ There can be no ifs or buts,’ that the room went silent.
“His unqualified assertion that Irish has become a symbol for nationalist English speakers in Northern Ireland with little or nothing to do with speaking the language, is what we have been saying all along.
“What else could we do but agree!”
©Ten Grand Leo