BREAKING: Stormont cleaning lady nearly chokes to death after hearing about MLAs pay rise

A MEMBER of ancillary staff at Stormont government buildings was rushed to hospital this afternoon after going into convulsions of disbelief following the announcement that MLAs were getting a pay rise less than two weeks after returning to work.

The staff member, who is understood to have general cleaning duties in MLA’s offices, was on her break eating a jam piece when she heard they were getting another £1000 in wages.

“We all spluttered in disbelief at the cheek of it,” Bessie Carson-McGlynn’s colleague Fidelma O’Paisley told TGL,“but Bessie just kept on spluttering, she is very sensitive to social injustice and double standards by those in power and she took it very badly.”

“We called 999 and  thankfully the Ambulance service are still fit for something in this country and they looked after her and took to Dundonald where she is expected to make a full recovery.”

Fidelma revealed that her and Bessie had cleaned a row of five offices used by MLA’s  from each of the five main parties, twice a week for the last three years.

“It’s a total disgrace! Bessie and me have done ten times more work in them offices in the past three years the MLA’s have!” 

“It’s been like the land that time forgot, pens don’t change position on desks from month to month, or even from year to year and there’s nearly always cobwebs on the computer keyboards.

“And between you and me the only thing going into the bin in one of them offices this past year was used condoms – disgusting.” 

“I think if they had a shred of decency they would give the extra money to charity,” Fidelma concluded.  

©Ten Grand Leo