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President Trump commends Causeway Coast and Glens Council after rate struck amid ongoing financial crisis

Search for the fool who let woodworm eat all the Council money begins

VESUVIUS erupted this evening and white smoke appeared above the Vatican, after Causeway Coast and Glens Council finally struck a rate for the coming year.

The Council has been in crisis for weeks after news of a £6.2m deficit mushroomed into a £75m debt, with calls for audits and investigations proliferating. 

“It was a joyous moment when the rate was struck,” an upbeat CC&G spokesperson said: “it was unfortunate state of affairs to discover that woodworm had eaten all our money and heart breaking when a plan for a Spanish treasure horde to sort out the debt fell through, but we are over all that now and our coffers can start filling with public money again.”

However, the situation is far from resolved and many questions still need answering according to commentator, Felicity Best, who has been following the story since the beginning. 

“One way or another the public have a right know the identity of the incompetent fool or fools who let the woodworm into the basement to eat all their money,” she said, “it’s not good enough, heads do need to roll!” 

“For the foreseeable future I doubt its audits to the rear of them, audits to the front of them, audits, audits, audits,” she concluded.  

Despite this, messages of support continue to flood in from around the world. 

President Trump tweeted, “well done guys I knew you had it in you, the free world was depending on you.”  

“Jobs a good one”, PM Boris Johnston gave the thumbs up. 

“Have a vodka on me, lads ,” Russian President Vladimir Putin tweeted.

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