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TOTALLY SKINT: Causeway Coast and Glens Council recycle LGBTQ Rainbow Flags into Union Jacks and Tricolours

Workings of council secret squirrel committee revealed - it’s like New York - it never sleeps

CAUSEWAY Coast and Glens Borough Council are so skint that they used their Rainbow Flags to make Union Jacks and Tricolours according to latest revelations emerging from the financially beleaguered organisation.

“It’s embarrassing I admit it,” a Council spokesperson said, “but even if this week’s proposal to fly the LGBTQ Rainbow Flag on Foyle Pride Day had passed we wouldn’t have had one to fly anyway!” 

Protestors have been calling for forensic audits of every sort after woodworm ate all their money leaving a debt that varies in estimated size from £68m to over £80m. 

“The procurement officer got Rainbow Flags on the off chance the proposal would be passed,” the spokesperson continued,

“But since the issue was parked last year, them aule storms have run our flags ragged and with the coffers bare, the decision was taken to use the red and blue stripes to make Union Jacks and the green and orange ones for Irish Tricolours – not that they’d be flying, but  it makes us look the part equality wise, if republican councillors start whining!” 

“We couldn’t employ wee sewing women as that would be sexist so we got in a crew of wee sewing men to do the stitching and a darn good job they did, if you’ll pardon the pun!” 

 “Our decision not to fly the Rainbow Flag wasn’t rooted in deep seated homophobia, dressed up as religion after all,” the DUP spokesperson confirmed triumphantly, “so lay off the judging. 

“We were obliged to keep all this on the QT, because we were updated ‘in (the secret squirrel) committee,’ which as we all know is like New York and never sleeps, erm I mean leaks.” 

©Ten Grand Leo

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