EAST Antrim MP Sammy Wilson has defended his support for Ulster-Scots and Ulster British conversion therapy in a united Ireland.
Mr Wilson, a supporter of gay conversion therapy, has revealed that in the event of a united Ireland, unionists who seek support to be fine upstanding Irish republican citizens, would have his blessing.
“What’s 400 years of British, Unionist, Protestant, Loyalist and Ulster-Scots history in a united Ireland anyway,” he revealed, “being a staunch British nationalist and Brexiteer, like Arlene, I fully accept the games up the morning after the Irish unity referendum is lost.
“Keeche or bust Carsonism was always clear, our way or no way.
“The second after we are no longer the majority, I will happily crawl before my new nationalist and republican overlords, then hop onto the next ferry to Stranraer, shur isn’t that democracy.”
Galway gay conversion clinic Manager Grainne Wheatley, told TGL that she would be happy to facilitate Protestants, Unionists, Loyalists, British and Ulster-Scots who wished to convert to traditional Irish Gaelic and Catholic values.
“I always knew they were Irish whether they liked it or not,” she said, “it felt so right to label them and know better than them what they were themselves and Sammy’s remarks prove how right I was.
“Given the way things are demographically, they might start thinking they are some sort of minority community and start demanding human rights or something like that.
“But let me tell you from the outset, that is a load of old cobblers, conversion therapy is the best thing for them and to be honest, in their current state they’re feck all use for anything else.”
Leitrim Ulster-Scots freedom activist Sawney McCleaver described Mr Wilson’s comments as “a load of aule bollix.”
However he described Ms Wheatley’s comments as “an even greater load of old bollix than Sammy’s if that would be possible.”
“Sadly it is possible,” Sawney confessed, “Bigotry, prejudice and revelling in outraged indignation for historical events one hasn’t personally experienced, is such a common thing in the Republic of Ireland.
“I have no idea how the nationalist and republican ascendancy will cope in a united Ireland, I really don’t, they are so prejudiced, but as a democrat I respect their mandates anyway. They love their hard won wee nation state and I would never dispute it’s legitimacy.” Sawney concluded.